When you think someone needs counseling and you want to talk to them, try some of these helpful hints:
- Tell the person clearly and directly what you have observed that causes you to become concerned:
- "Every time I see you, you look like you have been crying. You don't seem like your usual self. You have been missing a lot of classes. You always appear sad. In class I see you just kind of staring off..."
- "Every time I see you, you look angry. I hear you talk with your friends and it always seems like you are arguing. I don't know exactly how much you are drinking, but it seems like I see you coming in late a lot, and usually you look intoxicated."
- Tell the person how you feel, or what it generates in you when you observe these things:
- “When I put that all together, I get concerned about how you are doing. I wonder if you have too much stress or too many things to deal with right now. I get concerned about you.”
- "You worry me. I am not sure you are OK. Maybe you have too much to handle by yourself."
- Give the person some information you have about TouroCOM Counseling and Wellness Services:
- "I want to make sure you know that we have Counseling and Wellness Services for students here. It's free and all you have to do is call this number and make an appointment. It's also confidential."
- “Have you ever considered going to TouroCOM Counseling and Wellness Services? It's free. It's confidential. Kari can help you figure out a plan, or put together what might be bothering you.”
- If appropriate, offer to come with them on the first visit, but encourage them to make the appointment themselves: "You need to make your own appointment, but if you want a little moral support, I'd be glad to walk over with you and introduce you."
- All contacts at the counseling center are confidential. I can't even let you know if your friend has made an appointment here without written permission.
